10 things you probably didn’t know about me……
I have a few different blogs lined up and this is one of them, I feel like I have written a lot of personal things over the last few that I have written.
So this time I figured why don’t I tell you a little more about me?
1. Despite being dyslexic, I honestly LOVE to read! I would absolutely love the library the Beast gives Belle in Beauty and the Beast! Not that I get much time to read anymore but I would love to cosy up with a brew in front of a cosy fire and blanket and read a flipping good book!!! I love reading to Alfie too which is great because at only 2 years old he is a proper bookworm ha ha! His bookshelves are full already, his treat for being good is a new book. He loves going to the library too. Some nights my husband and I have to read 3 stories at bedtime ha ha! It’s great though, I can’t wait for him to read my favourite childhood books when he is older too.
I haven’t sat and read a good book for ages so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!!
2. I am a huge chocoholic. Like massive chocoholic!!!! I have serious problems I’m sure! I have to be really unwell to not want chocolate that’s for sure. There is always some in my house and I can’t manage a day without it. I won’t lie some days I have more than I should. It’s my guilty pleasure! I’ve never smoked and don’t drink that often so this is my guilty pleasure ha ha!!!
3. Ok some people have told me off for this………….here goes……..I never read newspapers and I don’t watch the news!!! I know a lot of people say I should to keep up with what’s happening in the world but honestly…….it’s too much. It’s always bad news and I hardly ever understand most of it. There is so much depressing stuff out there which I am aware of but by reading it and reminding myself everyday quite frankly I am so flipping sensitive that I would just be depressed and scared every day over something horrific happening on my doorstep and I don’t think I can live like that to be honest. So there I said it! My name is Emma and I don’t read the paper or watch the news. Never have!
4. I absolutely love cups of tea!!! I am tea mad! My husband can’t believe just how much I love a good brew lol!!! I never start the day on coffee, I always start with a tea. I do drink coffee – mainly at work. Tea however, oh my……can’t go wrong with a good brew! It’s ideal in so many situations! Tea and cake, afternoon tea with a cup of tea! Tea to start the day, tea when your sad, tea when your poorly, tea when your cold……it just works! Bloody love a good brew!!!
5. Despite living with all males I am really girly! I would love some girly accessorises in my house but my husband still insists on having a say in what we buy and what goes where. I am hoping he will get fed up though and leave me too it eventually!!! I love pink and anything that glitters and sparkles, I am all for high heels and dresses (although heels no longer love me!). I love ultimate girly chick flicks and afternoon tea treats with friends. I’m a traditional gift giving girly girl who loves anything girly that consists of perfume, fairy lights, flowers you name it!!! On that note, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Disney! OMG! It’s just fantastic, I mean really, what’s not to love?! I honestly wanted to be The Little Mermaid aka Ariel when I was younger! I was gutted though when I realised they weren’t real and I had to get some form of a ‘proper’ job lol!!! I am on a mission to complete my DVD / Blue-Ray’s of Disney films. I used to have them all on video (eeeek I am showing my age here lol!) but I still don’t have them all on DVD or Blue Ray yet. I blame the husband to be honest ha ha ha! I keep hinting for him to get them but he isn’t listening, we just end up with the Avengers or whatever instead. Which I do love but it’s not completing my Disney collection now is it?!
6. I am scared of the future…………I have had the ultimate heartbreak in my life yet I still worry what the future holds. I worry about losing the people I love the most. I worry about Alfie. I worry about what is around the corner. Mostly I try and think about the here and now but there is always that niggle in my mind about what is next. I know I shouldn’t and I should relax etc but it’s not that easy for me. I hate the fact that things change and it can’t always be helped and it isn’t always for the best. I’m scared of what’s to come, what’s around the corner and what might happen.
7. I always wanted a brother or sister. I grew up as an only child and I honestly have the best childhood memories. My Mum and me have some fantastic memories together from me growing up and I will cherish them forever. I am basically an only child though. I have a step brother and step sister, but they are older than me and already had long since left home when my Mum and Step Dad got together. I have a half sister on my Dad’s side, but she’s almost 21 now and I haven’t seen her since she was 18 months old. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a sibling and share secrets and family stuff with, be an Auntie and Alfie have Cousins. I wonder what it would be like to have a sibling to share family decisions, responsibility, excitement and sadness with. Don’t get me wrong though, as nice as it would have been it is what it is and cannot be changed. My childhood like I said was great and I wouldn’t change that at all. My Mum and I have an amazing friendship after so many years together just the two of us and you can’t put anything on that. It’s just circumstances in life sometimes that’s all. I guess I just wondered if I was missing out that’s all.
8. Despite the fact that I talk so so very much (it’s always been a habit lol!), I find it hard to make new friends these days. I worry about what people will think of me and wonder if I come across as too friendly and chatty sometimes. I end up just being quiet sometimes, not saying much and end up feeling shy. Hard to believe I know but it’s true lol! I’m not really sure why. I sometimes wonder if it’s my dyspraxia faults of not knowing when I am talking too loud. Or maybe it’s just my personality of not being able to tell when someone doesn’t want to chat or they’ve had enough of me?! Who knows. Anyway, if you are a potential new friend and your reading this………I’m sorry if I am too forward and loud…..I’m nice really I promise lol!!!!
9. I have suffered with anxiety. In a whole bunch of ways and for many different reasons. I have had it in many situations after having Alfie, his feeding and reflux was bloody awful when he was a baby (the unknown dairy intolerance didn’t help), he used to scream and take an hour to have 4oz. I absolutely dreaded feeding him in public because of it. I avoided feeding him in public to be honest just so people didn’t stare at me. When he wanted feeding and we were out, he quite often reduced me to tears because I couldn’t calm him down. I then thought people would be looking at me and expecting me to do better because I was Mummy. I had anxiety over having Alfie after losing Ethan, literally petrified it would happen again. I was anxious over comments I might get off people and what they would say, people making comments about me moving on or people I didn’t know asking if he was my only one. The list was endless. I am however in a much better place now. I also get very anxious about other things; going to new places, my routine getting changed at the last minute, staying over somewhere – mainly because it’s different and routine helps me manage my dyspraxia better. I am sure there is more but that’s all I can think of for now.
10. Despite the lack of money, the stress, the worry, the tears, the unknown, the sleepless nights, the SPD and most of all the risks………I would love another baby. To have a little brother or sister for Alfie would be amazing. I always wanted 2 living healthy children that I had given birth too. Sadly I don’t think this will ever happen for personal reasons. So instead I look at how blessed I am to have such a wonderful Step Son, to have been blessed with a son too precious for this world and a rainbow baby that is so incredibly precious to me words fail me. For the children I have I am truly blessed, no matter how many may or may not be physically here.
Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have enjoyed it. Feel free to ask me anything and hopefully I can answer. Comment share and follow to keep up to date with my blogs. Follow me on instagram at dyspraxicdomesticatedmummy.