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Dyspraxia

I have dyspraxia 

I’m not clumsy I have spatial awareness problems I’m not stupid my brain is wired differently I’m not forgetful my brain is in overdrive I’m not gawping I’m taking everything in I’m not shouting I just can’t define pitch or tone I’m not ignoring you there’s just too much noise I’m not scatty I just […]

Categories
Baby loss

A Dad's Grief 

Ok so yeah I’m not a Dad, you caught me out! This is just my take on a Dads grief. I am not saying I am right in what I write it is just merely from my point of view. I have to say that Ste has given me mountains of support since that fateful […]

Categories
Baby loss

The cut off point 

Here’s an interesting fact for you. Did you know that despite having gone through real labour at around 20 weeks gestation you won’t get a birth certificate for your son or daughter that you just pushed out and had hours of contractions for? It’s all a bit complicated to be honest so let’s start with […]

Categories
Baby loss

Grieving for others 

For a while after your baby dying you tend to live in a bubble. People, cars, the t.v. It all keeps moving around you. The cheese in the fridge goes mouldy and the milk goes off, as you just sit there on the couch, in silence and stillness, letting everything around you pass you by. […]

Categories
Baby loss

Mummy did I have a brother?

As you all know by now Ethan was my first born son. After we conceived Alfie my main focus was to focus on getting through the pregnancy without breaking down in to floods of tears too much. Then there was the focus on of he was healthy, the giving birth, would he survive etc etc […]

Categories
Baby loss

Marking Occasions

Before the unimaginable happens (your baby dying), I guess this kind of thing will seem strange and odd to some people. I mean, why would you want to remember your baby that died? Surely that upsets you as a parent even more? Wrong! It’s not remembering them, never speaking their name and other people ‘moving […]

Categories
Baby loss

Am I a Mummy

When did I become a Mummy and who made me a Mummy? William aside from this, the question remains was it Ethan or Alfie that made me a Mummy? Many people believe that because I gave birth to a baby that died that I wasn’t actually a Mummy. I’m not sure why though. I mean […]

Categories
Baby loss

Waves

You’ve probably heard it before but grief really is like waves. I mean I am 4 years along my journey now after Ethan dying. I am in a much more different place compared to where I was. I get up and get on with my day and leave the house without having a panic attack. […]