Monthly Archives: January 2019

I'm a boy Mum

What’s it like being a Mum to boys?
I’ll tell you what it’s like…
Gross, Amazing, Loving, Kind, Caring, Considerate, Fun, Exciting, Adventurous, More grossness, poo and bum conversations (Alfie once told me that his poo looked like a digger lol) and shouting various things such as; “Don’t play with it Alfie” and “Hands out of your pants” or a general “Don’t do that”
Want to know the best thing? I’m his first real love and he loves me completely.
Being a girly girl I would have loved to have had a baby girl as well and have tea parties and dress her up in cute girly stuff.
I have said for years since William was little that I don’t think there’s enough boy clothes around and yet there seems to be so so many girls clothes and so many choices. Thankfully the plus side to having boys is that dressing them is simple lol. Jeans, top, trainers, done lol. Alfie has recently taken to getting himself dressed and I have to say he does a great job but then you can’t really go wrong with jeans and a top can you unless it’s back to front lol.

Something that really grinds me is when people ask if I have children and I say yes I have 3 boys, the reaction is usually “oh wow”. Now granted I don’t technically have 3 boys living at my house all the time but between me and my husband together we have 3 boys. I don’t see what’s wrong with that?! I mean I am lucky to have had children so whatever gender of children I do get is a bonus in my eyes because I have been able to have children. It’s just there seems to be this things that if you don’t have a mix of boys and girls and you don’t have more than 1 child people think it’s ok to have a strong opinion.
People think that having all boys is too much too handle?! I beg to differ! I have a great relationship with my children and love the things we do together, just because I don’t have a daughter it doesn’t mean I am deprived in life. May be I will get a some fantastic daughter in laws, or may be my friendships with my girl-friends will be all that much more special as I have everything to enjoy with them. Either way I didn’t pick and chose to have all boys it happened, but having 2 living children (William and Alfie) makes me lucky in my eyes and I will take that any day regardless of the gender lol.

The great thing about having boys is that I enjoy stuff that I didn’t know I would enjoy before I had them in my life. Also we have such a laugh together, they are just so happy, fun and full of life. Living every moment at top speed lol. There is never a dull moment that’s for sure! Scavenger hunts, analaysing dirt and insects. Alfie is a sterotypical boy and I grew up as a sterotypical girl. I am happy for Alfoe to be whoever he wants to be but he is at heart a sterotypical boy.

The other thing I love about having boys is you pretty much always have a date lol. There’s nothing like a cinema trip or a walk to costa with a son and having Mummy and son time or Step Mum and Step Son time. Granted walking isn’t my strong point now but still I love it!!!
I love that Alfie loves me with all his heart, I love that he’s a Mummy’s boy and that he will always need me in one way or another. He’s a Daddy’s boy too but when it comes down to it, he’s a Mummy’s boy at heart.
Downside of being Mummy to boys is that as a girl I grew up playing with Barbie’s and dolls. Which now means that I have to learn a whole different bunch of games and stuff to play with!!! Who knew building Lego and train sets was a flipping art form lol. I can’t even kick a ball for god sake but then that boils down to my lack of co-ordination thanks to my dyspraxia ha ha. Lego gets absolutely EVERYWHERE!! Wherever you go you end up standing on some sort of Lego or for that matter any toy!!!
Another thing is that I always seem to be the one that is shouting across a public place to my son to stop doing stuff. He is very much a boys boy and somehow always doing daring things or doing things I would rather him not do and generally something where I am having to shout across to him to stop doing whatever it is he’s doing.
I’m not saying I was perfect as a little girl or easy going lol, but the thing is growing up as a real girly girl, having all boys is well a bit of a shock to me lol. Especially as most of my childhood was just me and my Mum so I never really had that male parent in my life which meant that some of things Alfie or William do or say is a shock lol.
They giggle at bum and poo things or joke related bum / poo things, they are rough and tumble, argue, shout, never sit still and full of energy. They are adventurous and excited and loud and generally stereotypically a boy, not because we have made them that way, because they want to be that way. There is never a dull moment that’s for sure. Then just as they have driven you to the edge of that cliff, on the brink of pure insanity for that day because of all their boy ways that day, they snuggle into you and whisper “I love you Mummy, you’re my best friend”. Cheers Alfie. Flipping cute! Little monkey Alfie knows just how to work me ha ha. He wraps his little arms around me and tells me how much he loves me.
The other thing I find with having boys is the toilet seats are always up and you can always find drops of wee everywhere although the latter is usually the youngest one to be fair!
The other is, boys LOVE to climb!! Doesn’t have to be a tree or something in the park, it might also be the couch, some cushions, your washing or even you!!! Basically anything!!!!
Having a boy is nerve wracking, they have no fear, between climbing and racing around your stomach is always in knots when they ae playing just because of how outgoing and fearless they can be.
Alfie might be a stereotypical boy in some ways but he is so loving and kind at heart.
I am biased I know but hey ho lo!
Being a Mummy to boys is chaotic and loud. Life is now a whirlwind of cars and superhero’s. You tend to hear the word Willy/Penis more times than you like to admit and usually because you telling them to stop messing with it. Jokes about poo and bum become normal. They love mud and getting messy and their feet stink no matter what lol. They are also fiercely loyal and can be typical Mummy’s boys. They can give the biggest and best cuddles, which is probably a silent apology for everything we cope with by being a Mum to boys!!!!
I’m a boy Mummy and I love it!
Thank you to the lovely Hannah at https://theswirlesclan.home.blog/
For collaborating with me on this. Go and check out her blog for being a Mum to Girls!! I loved reading about the similarities and the differences between having boys and girls.
Much love
Emma. X

Leaving the nest

It’s something that we all know as parents that one day our children will leave home. Something that until recently it never occured to me that I would be thinking about it already.
Let me explain, our eldest William is almost 14 now, he lives with his Mum and comes to see us every other weekend. Sometimes we see more of him and sometimes less it depends on what he is doing really. Since Ste and I have been together William has always been a part of what we do and how we go about things. Just because he doesn’t live with us it doesn’t mean that we don’t involve him. I have always and will always do my upmost to ensure he feels a 100% part of this family. He is treated the same as he would be if he lived with us, his own room and bed, his own tv and Xbox, his own mugs in the cupboard and his own treat box. You get the picture. We try and save doing certain things for when he is with us, take him places etc, but then why wouldn’t we? He’s our son, just because he doesn’t live with us it doesn’t mean he isn’t 100% involved in all that we do.
The thing is now he is getting older and we live a fair distance away from his Mum’s house, all his friends etc are at his Mum’s. My fear now is that we may be facing William ‘leaving the nest’ so to speak far earlier than I thought. I guess you could say it was to be expected really but honestly it makes me so sad. We have such a great relationship with William and as he gets older it only gets better. I love the things we get to do with him now and the times that we share with him. After Alfie has gone to bed Ste, William and I can sometimes have such a laugh and do lots of things that we can’t with Alfie. To think that time may some day soon come to an end and we will see him much less just makes me sad.
We will never force William to come and see us, it will always be his choice. I just hope that he will still enjoy coming to see us for longer than I am anticipating and that it won’t end anytime soon. I do know this though, when he does come and see us I will always do everything in my power to make sure that William enjoys his time with us. He will always have his own room at our house until he buys his own house and he will always have his favourite mug in my cupboard.
I never expected to have such an amazing relationship with William and I am so glad we do have the relationship we have. I am incredibly lucky as I know not every one is this lucky when it comes to step families. Having a step family is not without difficulty I can assure you, however if you can get a great child like William then I can guarantee it will be worth it. I just hope we still have a lot more time than what I think we will.

 

Cleaning and Organising

If you thought this was going to be another blog on how to organise your life and have the best house on your street I am afraid you have come to the wrong place!!
Now don’t get me wrong, I love all the cleaning and organising accounts that are out there.
I have stuff saved on Pintrest and Instagram, forever following people on how the hell I can get my s**t together and a watch list on YouTube full of organisation dreams!!!
The thing is lets be honest how many of you have a home like people keep showing on Instagram or wherever? I mean it’s great but for those of us that are incapable of cleaning every day and filling cupboards with boxes and decluttering it can make us feel…….well a bit crap?! I am not at all having a go at any of these accounts so please don’t go jumping down my throat. I’ve already said I love them.
It’s just well, if I am honest it makes me feel like I might be failing at being a good housewife or Mummy if my house isn’t up to a certain standard (I realise this is my own insecurity).
I have got such a lot going on in my life right now that to be honest I am really struggling to keep up now with all these trends of a clean house, an organised house, de cluttering, tops or hoodies people are wearing with certain slogans on, certain make up looks or that I should be making Alfie meals from scratch all the time and teaching him a certain number of things and not letting him have more than x amount of time on his kindle.
I’ll be honest. Parenting is hard. I’m all for cleaning and de cluttering and all of the above but all at once along with actual life and being unwell……
I’ll be honest I can’t keep up.
I feel guilty nearly every week, that I have let my son and my family down in some way shape or form and whilst all these accounts are bloody brilliant. I will be honest I am struggling to keep and sometimes feel like I am the only one who isn’t always doing all of this which then I feel guilty about and also like a failure.
That being said I threw some stuff out today from some drawers in my hall after I looked at each item and asked if it sparked joy (new series on Netflix of someone else who is off organising people!!) and if I needed it and I have to admit my drawer looks brilliant now!
May be some time this year I will tackle another part of my house ha ha!!!

For now with the help of my husband our house is as organised as it will get to be honest. My room of requirement is quite frankly as tidy and de cluttered as it will ever get. With little space in a new build home and a kitchen that just isn’t big enough for a 4 person family there is just not enough room for everything. Which is a shame because I am a real organised, everything in it’s place and facing the right way kind or girl. I would love nothing better than to have a home of dreams that is organised and perfectly cleaned. It’s just the truth is, I am either not well enough or I haven’t got chance because of my wonderful wild child toddler!

Like I said though I do what I can and I just hope it is good enough for now.
Like I said, this is by no means a dig at anyone with any cleaning or organising accounts. Quite the opposite, I actually admire you for it and applaud you that you can keep it up. I just need to work on my own insecurities of not being able to always keep up with the trends of homemade sausages etc, a cleaners paradise or a home that would make the woman off Netflix applaud me!!!!
How do you feel about all these cleaning and organising accounts out there on social media?

New Year Goals

New year and new goals.
I’m not one for resolutions and saying I will loose this much weight, or I will start this weekly or give up something ridiculous like chocolate. For me I just feel like I’m setting myself up to fail to be quite honest.
So this year I have set myself goals rather than resolutions.
I have things that I want to achieve at some point this year. Achievable goals that I can complete whenever.
Some blog related, some are home goals and some are personal.
• Take more photographs with the Canon camera.
So when we got married, some of the money we got we invested it into a beautiful camera where we could take some lovely photos of our children and our life together. I’ll be honest we haven’t used it anywhere near as much as we should considering the cost of it.
I really want to change that this year and start getting some really amazing photos on our camera.
• Blogging!
I really want to start blogging more and getting more content out there. So be prepared for more of these blogs! I love creating them and sharing things so I’m hoping to do more of that this year.
• Dressing up rail
Alfie loves to dress up in various superhero costumes, pirates and wizard
costumes. He now has so many I swear it’s taken over his room lol. So my hope is that this year I can make him or buy him a dressing up rail. That way they (hopefully!) don’t end up on his floor when he searches for a particular one.
• Yoga
It’s something I have tried many years ago but this time for health reasons I am hoping that eventually I will be well enough to start and that doing so it will help me keep on an even track with my health.
• Table
My dining table was a given to us when we moved in but I would love to hopefully get a new one. If not this year may be next year.
• Mirror
My full length bedroom mirror I have had since I was a teenager and I’ll be honest I have no idea what I was thinking lol. Now I am in my 30’s I finally think I am getting a style of my own and I would love a new full length bedroom mirror to match that.
• Make a teepee
I’ll be honest I’ve had the wood for this for so long now. I just need to source some materials. I’ve been on Pinterest and have a how to guide so naturally I am expert now after being on Pinterest lol. My plan is to make it for Alfie to have a cute corner to read in on his bedroom.
• Cushions
Who doesn’t love upgrading their cushions!!
• Reach over 300 followers on Instagram.
I’ve actually already done this although it does vary each day with people doing the follow and unfollow game lol. However I would like to grow my numbers and interaction more on Instagram.
• Kindness
By this I mean to myself. Like most I am guilty of being too hard on myself and not being kind to myself or making time for me. When you have a family to look after if you are not at your best then how can your family be at theirs? It takes a team yes but each player has to be ok and to be ok you have to take of you. So yeah, more of this please!
So those are my goals. Nothing big or huge, nothing outrageous. Just small goals for little ole me whereby I may actually achieve them and look back and smile at the end of 2019.
I would love to know if you have any goals for 2019?

2018 Happy jar

If you haven’t heard of a happy jar it’s something that begins on the 1st of January and continues right through until the 31st December. In it you and your family place any memory large or small on a piece of paper and place it in the jar. You cannot look at it again until the end of the year and on New Years Eve you sit together and read out these memories together.
Now it’s no surprise that I struggled through 2018 and ended up being dealt with a pretty crappy hand that I’m still trying to sort out and deal with but more of that another time.
I was worried that we wouldn’t get many memories at all to be honest and general overall thought that 2018 had been full of awfulness. In actual fact we did get quite a few and thanks to my memory I had forgotten so many of them so it was really great to read them back!
So what did we have on our memory jar?
Now some of these are before I got really unwell and some are during.
Playing in the snow, sledding and building a snowman with Alfie
Finally decorating Will’s room
Meeting some friends in Stoke
Making my hot chocolate station
Visiting in laws in Wales at their new house
Swimming with Alfie
Bubble fight in my in laws kitchen with Alfie
Sea life centre and Legoland
Alfie’s superhero party
Ice cream in Wales
Alfie having an Easter egg hunt with real chocolate for the first time! (Alfie was dairy free for a quite a while)
Making Christmas cookies and mince pies together
New coffee machine
Getting Fang
Getting Norbert
Getting some fish
So you see regardless of what happens in your life there are always small moments along the way that you can smile and reflect on and know that between the hard times there are good times too.
Give it a try and see what things you can place in your happy jar too. You might surprise yourself.
Personally despite whatever tough times I might face this year I can’t wait to fill my jar up for 2019.
I’ve already got one. My mother in laws Rottweiler pulling on the Shorkies lead to get him to go for a walk! Absolutely brilliant! Such a funny moment lol!!
Happy New Year and all the best to you for this coming year of 2019.
Emma xx