You can’t see me

You can’t see me
You can’t see me but I’m here, I’m thinking about where to go next what to attack next.
No one can see me
People look and try to see but they can’t
I’m hiding.
You can’t see me, but today…….you can’t feel your legs, body feels like it’s on fire in pain. Your body feels like it’s being crushed between some walls, eyes are sore and aching. Stomach is in knots and feels sick.
You might not see me but I’m there.
Just because you see a smile upon her face, it doesn’t mean I’m not there. The pain, the extreme fatigue, the swelling, the migraine, the loss of speech, the swelling, the bladder control, the dizziness, the brain fog. The battle to eat and drink. The internal and external twitching and spasms.
You can’t see me but I am there. The confusion, the fog, the focus, the concentration, the blurred vision, the struggling to breathe.
You can’t always see me but I am there.
You can’t see but she feels sad and lonely and isolated. A loss of one life while learning another. You can’t see but she is sad she can’t wash her hair today, sad of the life I have lost.
You can’t see me but I’m there, the choices people make for her rather than with her. The lack of knowledge and understanding and sympathy.
You can’t see but every day is a constant battle and learning how to manage. How to pace.
You can’t see me but I am FND.
I am me. I am not my FND

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