Monthly Archives: October 2019

Emma’s Bites – Nacho’s with a difference

Emma’s Bites – Nacho’s with a difference 

Sometimes you just need something a bit different, tasty and comforting.

So here is my nachos with a difference. 

For this you will need;

Chicken pieces 

Grated mozzarella 

Nachos 

Red pepper 

Yellow pepper

Red onion

Chicken seasoning 

Firstly get your chicken in a pan with some seasoning, Schwartz have some great ones.

Then once the chicken had started to brown, add the chopped onion and peppers and pan fry for another few minutes. 

Whilst those are cooking, get a dish and layer some nachos down. Top with some of your mozzarella cheese. 

When your chicken is cooked, add half the chicken mixture to the dish. Then repeat the layering. 

So too the chicken mixture with nachos, cheese and last hot of chicken mixture. Finish off with more cheese and add to a hot oven to melt the cheese. 

Once your cheese had melted, serve and enjoy. I guarantee this will go down a treat with the family! 

Tag me on Instagram if you re create this dish. 

Much love

Emma xx

I wonder what it’s like…..Who would I be if….

When I found out I was dyslexic and dyspraxic I was in my early 20’s. So about  ten years ago now. Happy anniversary to me……

I certainly felt like it explained a lot that’s for sure, I always felt like struggled that bit more than everyone else.

For as far back as I can remember I have always thought of myself as clumsy, poor balance and absolutely no hand eye co-ordination.

I’ve always felt like I have struggled through life a little bit more than everyone else.

Trying that bit harder to remember things, to read, to follow instructions or even play sport. 

I’ve always had to work at 150% rather than 100%.

I mean I am used to it but it doesn’t mean I like it.

I look around sometimes and I just wonder what it’s like to be someone else for a while, someone who doesn’t struggle to follow words on a page due to dyslexia. Someone who doesn’t have dyspraxia and walk into doorways or have to have cheap wine glasses because of being so clumsy. 

I want to remember what it’s like for my muscles not to ache or not to wake up in extreme pain. 

Did you know that you get muscle ache with dyspraxia too? Yup. So you see I feel like I have never experienced what it’s like to wake up feeling healthy. Even before getting FND. 

I would love to wake up one day and get to experience what it’s like not to have any of these struggles. 

To actually remember things, to follow instructions and to do list, to not procrastinate because my to do list is over whelming and confusing. I want to know what it’s like to not have chronic fatigue or pain. I want to know what’s it’s like to just breeze through the day send give everything just 100% for a change.

Did you know I have suffered with pain throughout my body since I was 12 years old. Yes 12 years old. Back pain and leg pain.

The dyspraxia side of me growing up meant that standing for a long time was exhausting on my muscles. My muscles just aches and I found myself fidgeting a lot and wanting to sit down. I’m still the same now, just throw in some FND as well and you have a broken Emma.

The dyslexia part of me struggles with reading to a small extent, following the sentence and spelling too, sometimes the words look really funny on the page. 

Now I have another condition that’s related to my brain. Now while I make the most of things, I try as hard as I can, I work around my problem areas and find solutions to help myself……..

The truth is it’s exhausting and I would love to know what it’s like to go through life without having these struggles.

Just one day to wake up and not have FND, dyslexia or dyspraxia. One day without every daily task I try and over come. One day without struggling with memory, reading, writing, clumsiness, chronic pain and chronic FND and everything else I have to battle every day. 

Don’t you ever wish what it was like to live without something? 

I feel like these conditions are that much of a huge part of me now I sometimes wonder who I would be without these conditions? I mean I try not to let them define me but the truth is I wonder who I would be without them now as they’ve been such a big part of me for so long.

Maybe I would be boring……

Emma’s Bites – Quorn layer up

I don’t know about you but lunch is something I really struggle with in terms of ideas. 

 So when I stumbled across this idea on Instagram I couldn’t not share.

For this you will need;

Quorn nuggets (frozen section)

Broghies (Iceland)

Red pepper 

Onion

Mayflower curry sauce 

If you’ve read my food blogs before you will know I never do quantities ha ha! So basically decide yourself how much you want to make. 

Cook the nuggets according to the packet instructions. 

While they are cooking, fry off the peppers and onions in a pan.

Make the sauce up as per packet instructions. I actually halved what the instructions said as I didn’t want loads.

Once your nuggets and everything else is cooked. The next thing to do is layer it all up. 

Once you’ve done that stick it on a plate and enjoy!!

It’s a real firm favourite of mine and it’s also vegetarian! 

As always tag me if you make it. 

Much love

Emma xx

Cold Cots – why they are important

If you are reading this and you have never lost a baby then firstly you are very lucly and I hope it never happens to you. Secondly I appologise that you may find this blog extremely dfficult to read.


If you have been in the unfortunate position to have lost a baby then my heart goes out to you and please be warned that this blog may be a trigger for you.


The reason I started blogging a few years ago was because of my son Ethan. I wanted to share with you the true reality of someone who had suffered a loss like no other. I wanted to help those who had also lost a baby to let them know that they are not alone because I can tell you in those first weeks and even months, you definitely feel alone. Like it’s only happened to you and no one else understands.


I also wanted to share the true reality of baby loss to those who didn’t know what it was like. The harsh reality, the difficulties, the reason why we raise money for baby loss charities and also to help you help someone who has lost a baby.


So when you read this blog or any of my blogs about baby loss, it isn’t to make you sad or cry. It’s to reach out to those that feel the same pain as me and to hep others understand our pain and teach those who don’t know why we raise money and how to treat us.
So with that in mind, let us discuss the harsh reality of a cold cot.


If you don’t know what a cold cot is, it is exactly that. A cot that’s cold. Why does it have to be cold? This is a stinger but it has to be cold in order for the baby not to decompose too quickly. Once the baby has died or has been born sleeping, there is no blood circulating the body and therefore needs to be kept cold for as long as possible to slow the process down before the baby has to be taken to the mortuary. Sounds awful I know but those are the facts.


So why is it important I tell you this I hear you ask.


Cold cots are funded by a charity and money donated to the hospital. It is not usually funded through hospital funds. This means it may be that you could only have 2 cold cots in the hospital and yet 4 babies that day that have died. That means 2 families have to say good bye to their baby quicker. That means they have to watch their baby change in their arms. Cold cots do not come cheap either, they can cost around £2,000.

When we had Ethan he was born at 1.12am. We stayed with him until around 10:30am in the morning. We were so grateful to have the use of the cold cot, not only did we get to spend those few precious hours with him it also meant that Ste’s Mum and Dad and my Mum got to come up and meet him. Without a cold cot, none of this would have been possible.


I honestly couldn’t imagine not having that time with Ethan that I did get. It was precious.
I believe since I had my angel baby Ethan that there are also cold cots that are able to come home with you of that is what you wish. There have been many changes since I had Ethan.

At the end of the day it comes down to this, I will always do something small or large to raise money for SANDS because I couldn’t imagine not having the opportunities that we had and missing out on memory boxes and cold cots.


If you ever have any questions surrounding baby loss, please ask,
I hope this was insightful for you.
Much love
Emma

Why I can’t leave Ethan at home

If you follow me on Instagram or you read my blog on wheelchair assistance through the airport you will know we recently went away.


Something that might not have crossed your mind but when we go away we have to find someone to look after Ethan.


Ethan, my son who died.


Now let me take you back to 2014 and 2015. The first year after he was born then died.
When we were expecting the arrival and imminent death of our son, we where given a lot of information. “He may be born alive”, “he may not have fully developed we don’t know”, we also got told when we where planning funeral that we may not get many or any ashes from his cremation.

Now as you may or may not be able to imagine when going through all this, delivering your dead baby or a baby that will die, planning your child’s funeral. I can honestly say your head is everywhere. You can barely manage to remember to wash and eat let alone anything else.
We very slowly managed to get back to some sort of a normal life.


We never got a phone call about Ethan’s ashes so we assumed we didn’t have any. I mean he weighed 440g so it was understandable.


However I was on the arc forum website (antenatal results and choices) reading and chatting to other parents and something hit me and I had a huge break down. It was that uncontrollable sob where you can’t breathe. I phoned Ste in a panic thinking oh my god what if I have left him somewhere, I felt lost without him, I felt like a terrible Mum and I felt incomplete.


I got home that day to find my hubby had been phoning round places that day, only to find that we had Ethan’s ashes waiting for us at the funeral home.


Now this all happened in February 2015, 8 months after our son was born and then died.
Eight months without him and feeling empty and lost. That emptiness is the worst feeling ever.
So as you can imagine when we finally got him back we didn’t want to let him go. So Ste and I had a chat and that’s how his ashes came to be put in a bear. So we could keep him and cuddle him.


Those 8 months without him where unbearable. We had painted his nursery and planned his future and the suddenly he was gone eithout a trace. Nothing left behind other than an unworn baby gro.


So you see, the though of leaving our son home alone for more than a day extends to more than “what if someone stole him” it feels like we are leaving him, abandoning him. So you see, if we go away, he comes with us or stay’s with family or his Godmother. My son is loved and will always be cared for and looked after. Even in death.

That’s why he will never be left at home, because it took so long to get him back the thought of leaving him alone at home just fills me with dread and horror.

He’s still part of our family and he will always be looked after.

Much Love

Emma