Am I a Mummy

When did I become a Mummy and who made me a Mummy?
William aside from this, the question remains was it Ethan or Alfie that made me a Mummy?
Many people believe that because I gave birth to a baby that died that I wasn’t actually a Mummy.
I’m not sure why though. I mean I carried him, I gave birth. Contractions and labour the lot. He was alive for almost half an hour when he was born so why wasn’t I a Mummy at that point?
Ah yes I get it. My baby didn’t exist is that right? So because I didn’t change his nappy, change his clothes or feed him or indeed bring him home I’m not a Mummy is that right? Wrong!
I honestly beleive that he made a Mummy. It’s a different kind of Mummy to what I am with Alfie but I am still his Mummy.
Not only did I birth him naturally I protected him from harm. I saved him from torture and suffering. I saved him. I made my first biggest decisions as a Mummy for Ethan.
I may not have brought him home and done all the ‘usual and ‘normal’ things with Ethan as I did Alfie but he was my first.
He also taught me what true love was. Seeing Ethan was honestly love at first sight, he taught me what it was like to love your child whole heartedly no matter what. I fell in love and wanted to love and protect him no matter what. My heart and my body told me I was a mother, even if the basket in my bedroom at home lay empty.
So to all those Mummy’s with angels babies and no rainbow or sunshine. You are still a Mummy.
A Mummy is defined by the love in your heart that you give to your child no matter what. Not by how many live or how many you adopt or have via a surrogate. If you have carried a child in your heart if they are here or gone forever……
You. Are. A. Mummy.
Never ever let anyone tell you any different xxx

Categorised as Baby loss

By Admin

I am Mrs Shep aka Emma. Mum of boys. I suffer for FND and I also have dyslexia and dyspraxia. I chat about everything from baby loss and (sen) parenting to general life stuff. I even through in some meal ideas and recipes sometimes too!


  1. Couldn’t agree more, from the moment your know you’re carrying a child you become a Mummy. If by some horrid twist of fate you don’t meet them or they don’t stay for long you still start to shape your world around them; therefore becoming a Mummy x

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