Dear Santa

Hope you are ok. I know your very busy, especially as it’s so close to Christmas. I haven’t written in a while. I’m sorry for that. I lost my Christmas sparkle you see. Now I’m writing to you to tell you what I want for Christmas if that’s ok. I hope I’m not too late.… Continue reading Dear Santa

A Dad's Grief 

Ok so yeah I’m not a Dad, you caught me out! This is just my take on a Dads grief. I am not saying I am right in what I write it is just merely from my point of view. I have to say that Ste has given me mountains of support since that fateful… Continue reading A Dad's Grief 

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The cut off point 

Here’s an interesting fact for you. Did you know that despite having gone through real labour at around 20 weeks gestation you won’t get a birth certificate for your son or daughter that you just pushed out and had hours of contractions for? It’s all a bit complicated to be honest so let’s start with… Continue reading The cut off point 

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Grieving for others 

For a while after your baby dying you tend to live in a bubble. People, cars, the t.v. It all keeps moving around you. The cheese in the fridge goes mouldy and the milk goes off, as you just sit there on the couch, in silence and stillness, letting everything around you pass you by.… Continue reading Grieving for others 

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Mummy did I have a brother?

As you all know by now Ethan was my first born son. After we conceived Alfie my main focus was to focus on getting through the pregnancy without breaking down in to floods of tears too much. Then there was the focus on of he was healthy, the giving birth, would he survive etc etc… Continue reading Mummy did I have a brother?

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Marking Occasions

Before the unimaginable happens (your baby dying), I guess this kind of thing will seem strange and odd to some people. I mean, why would you want to remember your baby that died? Surely that upsets you as a parent even more? Wrong! It’s not remembering them, never speaking their name and other people ‘moving… Continue reading Marking Occasions

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Am I a Mummy

When did I become a Mummy and who made me a Mummy? William aside from this, the question remains was it Ethan or Alfie that made me a Mummy? Many people believe that because I gave birth to a baby that died that I wasn’t actually a Mummy. I’m not sure why though. I mean… Continue reading Am I a Mummy

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Waves

You’ve probably heard it before but grief really is like waves. I mean I am 4 years along my journey now after Ethan dying. I am in a much more different place compared to where I was. I get up and get on with my day and leave the house without having a panic attack.… Continue reading Waves

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First day at school

I can’t believe it’s your first day of school. Our next chapter together. I’m so excited for you. Moving up to school with all your friends from pre school. Your lovely group of friends you’ve known for years. I remember meeting your teacher when we went to look around, you loved the school already and… Continue reading First day at school

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