Dear Diary

Dear Diary Sunday 3rd June. Good god today was harder than I thought. I mean obviously I knew the day was coming but it still takes me by surprise on how difficult I find things. Fours years to the day and I still remember the time of the scan. I remember how I felt. I… Continue reading Dear Diary

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Father's Day

Oh God it’s that time of year again soon. Father’s Day. I’ve never liked it. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’ve always found it hard though. I hardly saw my Dad growing up and don’t really know him as a person even now at 33. So things like Father’s Day didn’t mean much.… Continue reading Father's Day

Do's and Don'ts

It’s that time of year again where it all starts again……. The day we found out, the day we told everyone. The day we had the first scan. All those little niggling reminders. This year it will be 4 years since we had Ethan and there’s a lot that I have learnt…. Who your friends… Continue reading Do's and Don'ts

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Dear Ethan

Dear Ethan, It’s almost Christmas Day, just over a week away. Everyone is getting excited and rushing around getting last minute things. I’m over here in my own little world. I just can’t get excited this year. I don’t even know if I’m ready. I wrote a few cards and can’t seem to write the… Continue reading Dear Ethan

Christmas Countdown

As I sit here and write this I wonder if I’m ready for Christmas. I don’t mean gifts and cards I mean the day. The run up. The excitement with all your children……oh wait. One of mine is missing. That whole in my heart. That gap in my life. The missing piece from the important… Continue reading Christmas Countdown

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Emotional 

So tomorrow is the day that I’ve spent months planning. I’m nervous, excited and emotional all in one go. I am so worried that people won’t come or that it won’t be a success. It means the world to me this. Loosing Ethan was truly the worst thing I have ever experienced. There was ultimately… Continue reading Emotional 

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Brain Fog

Hi All! Welome back! Sorry it’s been a while but for some reason my brain has been having what I call brain fog. That lovely thing you get with dyspraxia when you have a ton of stuff to do and sort and can’t actually think straight at all. It honestly feels like I am wandering around… Continue reading Brain Fog