If you are reading this and you have never lost a baby then firstly you are very lucly and I hope it never happens to you. Secondly I appologise that you may find this blog extremely dfficult to read.
If you have been in the unfortunate position to have lost a baby then my heart goes out to you and please be warned that this blog may be a trigger for you.
The reason I started blogging a few years ago was because of my son Ethan. I wanted to share with you the true reality of someone who had suffered a loss like no other. I wanted to help those who had also lost a baby to let them know that they are not alone because I can tell you in those first weeks and even months, you definitely feel alone. Like it’s only happened to you and no one else understands.
I also wanted to share the true reality of baby loss to those who didn’t know what it was like. The harsh reality, the difficulties, the reason why we raise money for baby loss charities and also to help you help someone who has lost a baby.
So when you read this blog or any of my blogs about baby loss, it isn’t to make you sad or cry. It’s to reach out to those that feel the same pain as me and to hep others understand our pain and teach those who don’t know why we raise money and how to treat us.
So with that in mind, let us discuss the harsh reality of a cold cot.
If you don’t know what a cold cot is, it is exactly that. A cot that’s cold. Why does it have to be cold? This is a stinger but it has to be cold in order for the baby not to decompose too quickly. Once the baby has died or has been born sleeping, there is no blood circulating the body and therefore needs to be kept cold for as long as possible to slow the process down before the baby has to be taken to the mortuary. Sounds awful I know but those are the facts.
So why is it important I tell you this I hear you ask.
Cold cots are funded by a charity and money donated to the hospital. It is not usually funded through hospital funds. This means it may be that you could only have 2 cold cots in the hospital and yet 4 babies that day that have died. That means 2 families have to say good bye to their baby quicker. That means they have to watch their baby change in their arms. Cold cots do not come cheap either, they can cost around £2,000.
When we had Ethan he was born at 1.12am. We stayed with him until around 10:30am in the morning. We were so grateful to have the use of the cold cot, not only did we get to spend those few precious hours with him it also meant that Ste’s Mum and Dad and my Mum got to come up and meet him. Without a cold cot, none of this would have been possible.
I honestly couldn’t imagine not having that time with Ethan that I did get. It was precious.
I believe since I had my angel baby Ethan that there are also cold cots that are able to come home with you of that is what you wish. There have been many changes since I had Ethan.
At the end of the day it comes down to this, I will always do something small or large to raise money for SANDS because I couldn’t imagine not having the opportunities that we had and missing out on memory boxes and cold cots.
If you ever have any questions surrounding baby loss, please ask,
I hope this was insightful for you.