Just before December hit, I felt a wave of panic.
Like I wasn’t good enough………. Suddenly there were Christmas blogs, vlogs and posts everywhere and I had nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I love and good Christmas vlog and everything else that comes with it. I have a fabulous watch list on my youtube!
However, I suddenly got that Mum guilt. The guilt, that I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t doing enough as everyone else.
This time last year (2018) I had not long been out of hospital and Christmas was organized for me / around me.
This year I feel like I have got to prove something. Like I can still do it all, which is ridiculous because I can’t.
Social media is great and I love it. I really have found a great community on my Instagram account. I follow some amazing people with wonderful homes and ideas.
So why am I so god damn guilty of feeling like I am not good enough?! Before I answer why I think this is so let me share this with you….
I asked a few question on my Instagram stories and these were the questions and results…….
“Do you feel like social media constantly tells you it’s just about making memories”
63% of you said yes!
So then I asked………”yet you still feel like your not doing enough?” An incredible 92% of you said YES!!
I also asked:
1) “Do you feel like you are meant to have the picture perfect Christmas?”
2)”Do you feel a certain amount of pressure for Christmas?”
3) “Do you feel like you should have it all and do it all?”
Lots of you said yes, a few people said no and some gave more detailed answers which consisted of;
Feeling like everything should match, co-ordinated outfits, colour co-ordinated decorations and everything homemade.
Instagram is OTT about Christmas this year.
In real life no but for social media yes.
Feeling like family are out-doing you for your kids.
Keeping both parents happy.
Pressure to make it perfect for the children.
Now if social media keeps telling us it’s just about the memories then why do so many of us feel like we aren’t doing enough at Christmas?! Well here’s my thoughts……..
Despite the efforts that we all make as bloggers / vloggers / influencers to be real. I do think there is still an element of wanting to show perfection. I mean who wants to show a half done Christmas job? If you can’t manage a tree or a finished tree are you really going to be telling everyone than illness suddenly struck you down and this is what you have? Or that everyone argued on how to decorate it and you gave up? No! You want to be the one that influences someone else and have someone else copy what you have done. You want to feel loved and liked for all your efforts.
Another reason is, we watch one person and they’ve done elf in the shelf with great ideas. Then we watch someone else and they’ve done incredible advent calendar ideas all homemade. Then you see someone else who’s baking from scratch.
Now then, each of these is wonderful, however are each of these also doing the other things as well? Or are they just doing that one as best as they can?
Why do we insist on trying to do all these three at 210% and not just do one at the usual 100%? I’ll tell you why! It’s because you don’t want your child to be the only one that missed out on not having an elf, or not having the best activities planned or the best food served on the table.
I am 34 now and my only hope is that Alfie and William look back on their childhood with nothing but fond memories.
I remember Christmas when I was a
Child and I absolutely loved it. There was no elf on the shelf, no fight for the best tree, no competing for the best and most exiting activities!!! It was just me, the family and some mega fun Christmas games! In fact the Christmas games are what sticks out the most in my memories from being a child at Christmas.
I guess what I am trying to say is that, I know your putting pressure on yourself. You went your child to have the best presents, food, activities and the best elf.
However the truth is, as long as they are happy don’t worry. They really won’t remember the details, they will just remember that every year you always watch that film on that day with those treats.
Or that you always pick a new decoration after decorating the tree.
Or that you play those yearly Christmas games that you all love.
So stop comparing yourself to everyone else. It’s not all what it seems. So what if you having got matching pjs?! My hubby prefers loungewear and my step son is 14, they aren’t going to want to be in matching pjs so why should I bother wasting my money!
So here’s my motto;
You are good enough.
You do not need to prove anything to anyone.
Your Christmas is yours as well.
Memories are really all that matters in the end.
Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. They might be feeling the same and just not showing it.
That being said, if you do want it all and you can have it all easily. The matching pjs, matching decorations, every room looking like Christmas and the homemade cooking and baked goods then go for it! The rest of us are only jealous that’s all ha ha
Until next time