Who am I?

Well I’m Emma. What does that mean though?
I am a wife, a daughter, grand-daughter, neice, daughter-in-law, friend, cousin, step daughter, step sister. I am a step mum, an angel Mummy and a rainbow Mummy. I’m a cook, a cleaner, a teacher (so to speak) and a live in first aid person.
I was a befriender to those who’ve lost a baby. I was a friend to some people that I have now lost and some I have found I am loosing. I was a collegue to some I no longer see.

I am and have been a lot of things.
Does anyone find though that along the way and with some major life changes that we sometimes forget who we are? If you haven’t felt like this before then I guess this might seem extreme to you.
The recent trend of the #tenyearchallenge got me thinking after looking back at old photos when doing this challenge myself.

I was never certain on what job I wanted or what style I thought suited me or where I wanted to live or the type of life I wanted to lead when I was younger. I knew I wanted to get married and have my own family and other than that I wasn’t sure on anything else. I knew what I liked and disliked, knew what I enjoyed doing and things like that.
After some major life changes that have been out of my control I will be honest I kind of feel like I have lost my way.

I’m not sure what is coming next in life or where I am going now. I do know this though, at almost 34 years old I am finally starting to have a bit more undertsanding of what I want out of the rest of my life, I know what makes me happy.
I had a very bizzare conversation with William recently about gammon. Please don’t think I have gone mad!!!! Hear me out, I have always had both egg and pineapple with gammon and there’s always a choice of one or the other or both when you order it at a restraunt. The thing is I will be honest, I was never sure which I preferred. I love eggs and I love pineapple but which do I prefer with gammon? Until recently I didn’t know. I now know I prefer pineapple with gammon.
The point I am trying to make is that, not just about food but other areas of my life, it just feels that now after so much has happened to me I now think I am finally getting to grips on what or who or where makes me happy. My life changing experiences mean it has changed me as a person and because of that I feel like I lost me too. However I think this year I may finally work out who I am.
I will share with you what I know. I like nights in rather than nights out. I prefer nights out to be a meal and a quiet drink. I love tea coffee and hot chocolate, I love movies and Netflix. I am a chocloate addict and find dieting hard work. I prefer pineapple on my gammon. My sense of style is jeans and a top or leggings and a tunic lol. I love to dress up but rarely get chance. I am not a confident person and I do talk to much. I get nervous making new friends. I worry about what other people think and I get stressed to easily. I love wearing make up and feel vulnerable without it. I love baths as much as I love a shower.
How sure of yourself are you? Do you know who you are?
I’d love to know what you are sure about of yourself xx

By Admin

I am Mrs Shep aka Emma. Mum of boys. I suffer for FND and I also have dyslexia and dyspraxia. I chat about everything from baby loss and (sen) parenting to general life stuff. I even through in some meal ideas and recipes sometimes too!


  1. I was just writing a similar post but not got very far with it. As I really don’t know who I am at the moment.
    I’m not even sure of what I like and what I don’t.
    When life throws you curve balls it’s tough to know where to go isn’t it.
    One day when I grow up maybe I will figure myself out.

    1. I know, it’s such a strange thing that you don’t really know who you are.
      Some days I love coffee and other days I can’t stand the smell. That’s when my FND takes over. So if that’s the case then how I meant to know who I really am?! xx

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