I’m 35 and I only just found out that my favourite colour was purple.
I thought it was pink, however I think I kind of conformed to society for many years. However I just realised the purple was indeed my favourite colour.
It’s the reason I left social media for a while. Ok not literally because of my favourite colour because that would be silly, however not knowing your favourite colour isn’t silly. I just found out……
I left because I forgot who I was and where I was going. With the life stresses and difficulties that have been faced with lockdown this year. Plus all the traumas I’ve faced in life. Which is more than my fair share if you don’t follow me on Instagram.
My son died & I developed a brain condition that no one seems to know much about despite it apparently being common. Things like that can change a person.
I’ve never known any of my favourites be it a film, a song, colour, meal etc. I think for so many years I’ve always just followed along in life, trying to fit in but never quite knowing where.
I still don’t know where I fit in but I think that’s ok.
The fact that I don’t know where I fit in kind of reflects on my social media. Again I think that’s ok though. I don’t have to be one person do I? To like one song for life and that’s my favourite, or have one favourite film….no, because life is about change. Experiences change you and that’s ok.
You have to change with it or sometimes you will get left behind.
Whilst I’ve had my social media break I’ve realised a few things. I’ve realised that I should worry about what content I post and I don’t have to be at Instagram’s beck and call to try and be popular or be seen. I’ve learnt that my grid doesn’t have to fit in with everyone else’s. I started blogging for me, to share my story and help others who are going through the same as me and educate others on baby loss. I think I’ve done that and more besides.
I never started blogging to earn money and it’s not something I’m thinking of any time soon either.
However I will still continue to blog. I love sharing parts of my life and meeting others. That doesn’t mean I should become obsessed about fitting in though.
I don’t fit in and that’s ok. Why should I conform to having a grid post that’s perfect with themes and pictures that are beyond anything I could manage edit wise! So that’s why I took the break. I love social media and since I became disabled and lost my job I love it even more. It helps keep me sane but I lost that bit where it kept me sane these last few months. I became obsessed with my content and what to post and keeping up with everyone else’s style and keeping up with the analytics of Instagram.
Something I get praised on with my blogs and my Instagram is my honesty.
So this is me.
I’m Emma, I’m 35. I don’t fit in. I’m a crazy misfit and I have only just realised my favourite colour is purple.