For a number of years now I have taken to decorating my kitchen window. You may not have thought too much about it but there is reason behind me being so ‘extra’ and decorating my window.
It started one December after seeing @BrummyMummyof2 on Instagram decorate an area in her kitchen, I saw how happy it made her and her children and I thought I like that. I want that.
So I decorated my window with bits of all sorts for Christmas including goodies to make a luxury hot chocolate. The boys loved it and so did I. I loved how excited and happy it made us all, having something that brightened our kitchen, a nice treat.
It gave me a feeling though that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Before I tell you what it was, let me tell you something about myself that you may or may not know.
Before I got ill with FND, for 15 years I worked for the NHS in Cardiology and Respiratory. Spending my days providing a service, helping people and diagnosing patients. I was busy, work was constant. I felt like I was in demand, my time and expertise needed. My brain constantly working, trying to figure out patients and what they needed, trying to fit the puzzle together of what their diagnosis might be.
When I had to leave my job I felt lost. I felt like I wasn’t needed. My brain and expertise wasn’t needed anymore. I was no longer Emma a trained Clinical Physiologist, with expertise in Cardiology, Respiratory and Sleep. I was Emma who was disabled and needed walking aids, a wheelchair and help with washing, dressing and eating.
So this may seem really silly, and may not make sense. However my window displays give me a small sense of purpose in my suddenly very quiet and somewhat lonely life. It makes me happy that my children and hubby love to see what I create next, sneaking the treats from the display when they think I’m not looking. Or when they decide to compete over who can create the best hot chocolate or ice cream (yes I did a summer ice cream display! Obviously the ice cream was kept in the freezer!) from the treats I put on my display. It distracts my brain from thinking how different my life is now compared to where it was going. Keeping my brain ticking over and occupied.
In a roundabout (and probably silly) way it makes me feel needed. Not just from my family either but from you. Yes you. My followers. The excitement and wonder from my followers of what I will create next. You make me feel good, like people actually care about my designs and what I create.
My window displays give me so much happiness and I love how happy it makes other people.
So when you see my window displays, just know that there’s a whole reason and happiness behind it. A sense of purpose and feeling needed.
If you want to see some of my window displays I have saved them all to my highlights on my Instagram page.