A single tear rolled down my cheek today as I remembered the hope I once had of having you in my life. Whilst that hope has long gone one thing that hasn’t gone is the love I still have for you. As we approach 9 years since you were gone. I can’t help but think… Continue reading A single tear
Category: Baby loss
Reflection. The build up. The heartbreak.
It’s been 6 years now and I still remember those feelings you get surrounding the day your baby dies. It’s never usually about the day for me these days. It’s the build up. Remembering those last few innocent weeks before your world came crashing down around you. Remembering a time where you were blissfully unaware… Continue reading Reflection. The build up. The heartbreak.
Cold Cots – why they are important
If you are reading this and you have never lost a baby then firstly you are very lucly and I hope it never happens to you. Secondly I appologise that you may find this blog extremely dfficult to read. If you have been in the unfortunate position to have lost a baby then my heart… Continue reading Cold Cots – why they are important
Why I can’t leave Ethan at home
If you follow me on Instagram or you read my blog on wheelchair assistance through the airport you will know we recently went away. Something that might not have crossed your mind but when we go away we have to find someone to look after Ethan. Ethan, my son who died. Now let me take… Continue reading Why I can’t leave Ethan at home
What if the worst happens again?
I always think the worst. If you have also experienced organising a funeral for your own child then you too will understand the sheer indescribable pain that comes with watching your child take the first and final breaths. I have written various blogs about what it’s like experiencing baby loss. What I haven’t talked about… Continue reading What if the worst happens again?
Unused birthday
Shoes never worn Birthday hat never used. Invites lay un-written and your birthday cake you never got to try. As I look around the room, I wonder what would have been Pen in my hand and birthday card in front of me. What do I write to the boy who had nothing and never was.… Continue reading Unused birthday
Guilt is a funny thing……
Guilt is but a funny thing. My head is telling me it’s ok and tries to rationalise things but heart tells another story. I feel so guilty that I don’t go to the cemetery as often as I feel like I should. Then I remind myself there’s no set amount of time per year or… Continue reading Guilt is a funny thing……
Mother's Day 2019
I’ve started this Mother’s Day blog so many times and if I am honest I feel lost on what to say really. Whilst Mother’s Day is important to me it also makes me sad. I just feel like there is so much pressure on who has the best day, who got the best gift, who… Continue reading Mother's Day 2019
Dear Santa
Hope you are ok. I know your very busy, especially as it’s so close to Christmas. I haven’t written in a while. I’m sorry for that. I lost my Christmas sparkle you see. Now I’m writing to you to tell you what I want for Christmas if that’s ok. I hope I’m not too late.… Continue reading Dear Santa
A Dad's Grief
Ok so yeah I’m not a Dad, you caught me out! This is just my take on a Dads grief. I am not saying I am right in what I write it is just merely from my point of view. I have to say that Ste has given me mountains of support since that fateful… Continue reading A Dad's Grief