Category Archives: Dyspraxia

I wonder what it’s like…..Who would I be if….

When I found out I was dyslexic and dyspraxic I was in my early 20’s. So about  ten years ago now. Happy anniversary to me……

I certainly felt like it explained a lot that’s for sure, I always felt like struggled that bit more than everyone else.

For as far back as I can remember I have always thought of myself as clumsy, poor balance and absolutely no hand eye co-ordination.

I’ve always felt like I have struggled through life a little bit more than everyone else.

Trying that bit harder to remember things, to read, to follow instructions or even play sport. 

I’ve always had to work at 150% rather than 100%.

I mean I am used to it but it doesn’t mean I like it.

I look around sometimes and I just wonder what it’s like to be someone else for a while, someone who doesn’t struggle to follow words on a page due to dyslexia. Someone who doesn’t have dyspraxia and walk into doorways or have to have cheap wine glasses because of being so clumsy. 

I want to remember what it’s like for my muscles not to ache or not to wake up in extreme pain. 

Did you know that you get muscle ache with dyspraxia too? Yup. So you see I feel like I have never experienced what it’s like to wake up feeling healthy. Even before getting FND. 

I would love to wake up one day and get to experience what it’s like not to have any of these struggles. 

To actually remember things, to follow instructions and to do list, to not procrastinate because my to do list is over whelming and confusing. I want to know what it’s like to not have chronic fatigue or pain. I want to know what’s it’s like to just breeze through the day send give everything just 100% for a change.

Did you know I have suffered with pain throughout my body since I was 12 years old. Yes 12 years old. Back pain and leg pain.

The dyspraxia side of me growing up meant that standing for a long time was exhausting on my muscles. My muscles just aches and I found myself fidgeting a lot and wanting to sit down. I’m still the same now, just throw in some FND as well and you have a broken Emma.

The dyslexia part of me struggles with reading to a small extent, following the sentence and spelling too, sometimes the words look really funny on the page. 

Now I have another condition that’s related to my brain. Now while I make the most of things, I try as hard as I can, I work around my problem areas and find solutions to help myself……..

The truth is it’s exhausting and I would love to know what it’s like to go through life without having these struggles.

Just one day to wake up and not have FND, dyslexia or dyspraxia. One day without every daily task I try and over come. One day without struggling with memory, reading, writing, clumsiness, chronic pain and chronic FND and everything else I have to battle every day. 

Don’t you ever wish what it was like to live without something? 

I feel like these conditions are that much of a huge part of me now I sometimes wonder who I would be without these conditions? I mean I try not to let them define me but the truth is I wonder who I would be without them now as they’ve been such a big part of me for so long.

Maybe I would be boring……

Dyspraxia update

It’s been a long time since I wrote about my dyspraxia so I thought I would let you know how I’m getting on with that at the moment.
The truth is even after all these years it still gets me down.i just really bloody hate it and. It’s so frustrating. I still sometimes wonder even now how I ended up with all these bloody neurological conditions. It’s just not fair lol. It makes things so difficult and I would love to know what it’s like to not have all these conditions. My dyspraxia has got worse recently, I’ve no idea why but my FND has flared up again so I’m guessing that might have something to do with it.
I haven’t broken anything that I can remember anyway, however I have dropped so many things. I’ve spilt peas all over the floor, tea all over myself and even managed to catch my top on a door handle which meant I ended up with a really horrible cut on my arm. These things are never just a one off accident though it’s every day things like this!

Then there’s my hearing, that’s getting worse. I mean I can hear, it’s the fact that if there’s a few conversations going on I can’t filter them out too the one I should be listening too. Oh and background noise, that’s a nightmare!
I recently bought an adapter for my pen as that’s really starting to bug me now. I just find holding a pen so flipping difficult. I just can’t grip it properly to write with it.

What’s really fun now is having Dyspraxia and FND! Sometimes it’s hard to know the difference between them. Both gave speech problems and getting confused with words. My memory is getting worse and I’ll be honest it’s white embarrassing now.
You know what’s worse though? I worry that Alfie has it. I see traits of me in him, the dyspraxia side of me. In the grand scheme of life having dyspraxia isn’t the end of the word and if that’s all he has then compared to how poorly my first son was it’s a bonus. However that being said, it can make life hard work sometimes and I just don’t want them for him. Like most parents I want him to be 100% healthy, but we all know life doesn’t turn out that way.

I have dyspraxia 

I’m not clumsy I have spatial awareness problems
I’m not stupid my brain is wired differently
I’m not forgetful my brain is in overdrive
I’m not gawping I’m taking everything in
I’m not shouting I just can’t define pitch or tone
I’m not ignoring you there’s just too much noise
I’m not scatty I just have many ways of organising
I’m not awkward with what pen I use, I just can’t hold that one
It’s not that I’m picky with clothes it’s just that I can’t use buttons
It’s not that I can’t speak. It’s just that I sometimes het confused and mixed up with words
It’s not that I’m thick, it’s just my brain can only process so much information
I’m not moody I just have problems controlling my emotions sometimes
It’s not my fault, it’s just that I have dyspraxia.
Having dyspraxia sucks big time. Especially at busy or stressful times, it just gets worse. Everything is heightened. You can just click a switch to turn it off or get an early night and hope it’s gone in the morning. It’s frustrating as hell and can sometimes be like living in a mini torture chamber.
You live with it every day. You adapt and find slower or different ways of doing things.
I am Emma and I live with dyspraxia………and guess what? Hate it!

Dyspraxic Mummy 

Being a Mummy is hard work isn’t it?
Amazing and rewarding of course, but still, it’s hard work. (FYI I wouldn’t change being a Mummy I love it and I love my boys)
The late nights and early mornings, disturbed sleep, the toddler tantrums, the bugs, countless nappy changes, questioning everything you do and always wondering if you’ve made the right choice…….
The thing is having dyspraxia can sometimes make my Mummy role a little more challenging at times.
I’ve so far found that since having Alfie I have had to come accross several situations that make things hard for me but for him obviously I will do it.
Take soft play type places for instance. They are great for children yes but for me……oh my gosh. All those different noises all at once. My head can’t cope. Not the volume just the fact that there is so many noises all at once. I struggle to focus and then I can’t concentrate as I cant filter all the different children and noises and things going on around me. It takes a huge amount of effort to focus sometimes. Then if you’ve gone with a friend too well, that’s me looking like an ignorant so and so because I end up looking like I am ignoring them. Throw in some background music too and well that’s just the icing on the bloody cake to be honest.
Then there’s the crafts…..oh god the crafts. Serious sensory overload problems honestly. Play dough! I cant stand the stuff and I can’t touch it either. It honestly goes through me. Everything about it. I can’t use it with Alfie at all.  I might try one day of he wants me too but for now I will leave it to my husband and nursery lol.  I can’t explain it but the texture of play dough just goes through me. I have some major problems with texture including for food and other things to just touch or use.
Cotton wool for instance. Argh. Crikey my brain is having a hissy just thinking about all this. My nerves in my fingers are seriously on edge. I couldn’t use cotton wool stuff Alfie. Never mind what the health visitor said, it’s all very well and good but I am not touching cotton wool. It sends shivers down my spine ha ha. There’s lots of foods I can’t eat because of the texture too which isn’t the best example for Alfie I know. I try sometimes but my gosh it is so hard.
All those things I struggle with I don’t want Alfie to pick up on it.
It’s hard not to though but for him he’s worth the effort to try and battle through these things I struggle with.
I’ve actually found a class I want to take him to go let him explore the use of his fine motors skills and sensory things. Focusing on these for Alfie whilst he grows up will help him if he ends up eith dyspraxia like me. I’ve researched that getting Alfie to do the things that are challenging for people like me will help him massively if he does end up like. I found out very late so any help for me was pointless by that point.
The other thing I have struggled with with being a Mummy with dyspraxia is that unknown at the beginning. Organisation is key for me to get through my day without struggling. Keys in the same place. Knowing what’s for lunch and tea. What I’m doing that day and when. I really struggle otherwise and end up stressed and then have what I call a flare up of my dyspraxia.
I guess in some ways it’s a bit like having a bad back.  It’s always there but some days are worse than others and flare ups can occur.
Alfie wasn’t a great feeder at the start and obviously having a new born and all that goes with it and the lack of organisation was very much a huge struggle for me. I sobbed and struggled and I had so so so many flare ups I needed to know what was going to happen at what time for me to be able to manage but obviously that wasn’t going to happen.
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love being a Mummy. I try so very hard but some things are just so tough for me and are a battle but it for my little man.
It won’t be the end of the world if Alfie ends up with dyspraxia although my husband said it will be too expensive for us both to have it lol (breakages etc lol), but I would rather him not have dyspraxia just because I know how frustrating it can be. At least I know I can help him though.
Wish us luck on exploring everything
 in the world if being a Mummy with dyspraxia.
Emma xx

Brain Fog

Hi All!

Welome back! Sorry it’s been a while but for some reason my brain has been having what I call brain fog. That lovely thing you get with dyspraxia when you have a ton of stuff to do and sort and can’t actually think straight at all. It honestly feels like I am wandering around in thick fog. A little lost with a vague idea of where to go!

I have recently decided to do another charity event for SANDS in memory of my son Ethan. I am extremely nervous yet excited to see what comes of it. I have lots of people baking for me and I have around 13 craft stalls where people come and sell their0 stuff. Some of the crafters have kindly offerred to donate a percentage of their takings on the day to SANDS. Last time I managed to raise nearly £2,000. I don’t expect to get anywhere near as much but hopefully a few hundred pounds would be nice. The idea is that the money goes towards anything the grieving families may need in order to support them. Cold cots to keep your baby with you longer or memory boxes etc. Anything. Whilst I have enjoyed organising this event it also drags up all my emotions that don’t usually arise so I am feeling quite emotional about it all too. It also makes me miss my son Ethan even more. It’s like a painful reminder that he’s not here. I don’t mind though as the pain and tears are a reminder that he existed and he wasn’t just in my imagination. He’s part of my memories.

My event isn’t long off now so I will do a blog after the event and let you know how it went. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

It’s almost Alfie’s 2nd birthday soon so that is on my to do list to sort out but it makes me nervous as his birthday was orginally Ethan’s due date.

So Ethan was due on 17th October 2014. Alfie was born 17th October 2015. It really messed with my head and emotionally I was a mess last year the day before Alfie’s 1st birthday. Hopefully this year wont be as bad but if there is anything I have learnt in this journey it is that the build up is often worse than the actual day. Like Christmas and anniversaries. In fact don’t even go there with Christmas. I mean my god. Christmas is all about children so when one of them is no longer here, all the christmas stuff around you is just absolutely heart wrenching. Its horrendous. It’s a real life nightmare. It’s a painful reminder everywhere you look. I mean it physically hurts. Another thing, recently everyone was posting school photos. Something I will never have with him. Ethan was very much a wanted baby and to say goodbye to him was by far the worst thing I will ever have to do in my life and I can honestly say it will hurt me forever.

Recently I have had a lot of people ask me if I am having another baby. Alfie is nearly two so people seem to think it’s ok to ask me when I am having another. I am not being funny but since when did it become ok to ask me something so personal about how many children I would like etc etc. It’s non of anyone elses buisness to be honest! That aside it actually really upsets me to talk about. Having Alfie and getting pregnant again after Ethan was so difficult and I was in pieces most days. Petrified about the thought of loosing another baby so I am sorry I am not prepared to put myself through that again just because you think I should have another!

Anyway moving on from that rant!!!

We are taking Alfie on holiday this year and we can’t wait! I have to say though, knowing what he is like I am a little concerned about entertaining him on the plane!!! I have put a pack together for him actually so I will let you know how it goes!

It was mine and my husband’s wedding anniversary recently. It was a very quiet celebration but he got me some wonderful flowers which was lovely. We sat and watched our wedding DVD and gosh. It amazes me how things change. Some people have died, some astray, some couples no longer together etc. So many people and so much attention on you both and then 4 years later and celebrating it is just you, him and the baby, a card from each other and the Mum and that’s it. Does anyone else suddenly get taken aback at how life changes? Don’t get me wrong I love my family and wouldn’t change them for anything but when I stop sometmes and look and think. I honestly can’t believe just how different life is in just a few short years or maybe more.

Anyway. Not much point to this one really other than to let you know about my brain fog ha ha! Keep your fingers crossed for me on the charity event and everything else that is helping with he brain fog recently!!!!

Take Care

Much love

Emma

 






Living with Dyspraxia

Believe it or not this is actually the hardest blog I have written so far. It is very difficult to explain dyspraxia to someone who doesn’t have it.
It is a form of developmental co-ordination and affects fine and/or gross motor co-ordination. It can affect all sorts including speech. There is no exact cause of Dyspraxia but it is thought to be caused by a disruption in the way messages from the brain are transmitted to the body.
It is very difficult to get diagnosed with dyspraxia, I don’t actually think there is any real conclusive test. I actually found out whilst getting tested for Dyslexia.
Dyspraxia kind of lurks all the time! It gets worse or flares up if you like in certain situations, for example mine is a lot worse when I am stressed, then I get stressed and frustrated with it and then it gets worse. The circle is never ending and can takes days to break the circle/cycle of the flare up. It actually gets me really stressed and upset, it makes me feel stupid in all honesty.
So if I actually list the areas where it can affect you then I will try and explain some a bit better.
Self-care
Writing – gripping the pen, staying along a line, pressing too hard when writing
Typing
Driving
Riding a bike
Learning new skills
Cooking
Education
Work
D.I.Y
Time management problems
Planning things
Personal organisation
Memory
Perception and processing
Listening – large groups can be hard, can be tactless and interrupt frequently. Picking up on tone of pitch – yourself or others. May listen but not understand.
Articulation
Speech – may talk continuously and repeat themselves. Some people have difficulty organising the sequence of their words too.
Household chores
Poor balance
Posture
Fatigue
Standing for a long time due to weak / low muscle tone
Some dyspraxics may have flat feet
Floppy and unstable around the joints
Hand-eye co-ordination
Lack of rhythm
Clumsy and gait movement
Difficulty changing direction
Stopping and starting actions
Exaggerated movement
Lack of manual dexterity
Poor at two handed tasks causing problems with cutlery, cleaning, cooking, ironing, craft work and playing musical instruments
Inadequate grasp – so using tools, domestic implements, locks and keys etc
Dressing – fastening clothes and tying shoe laces.
Poor establishment in hand dominance – may use either hand for different tasks at different times
Eye movement – tracking a moving object smoothly, also tend to loose the place while reading. Also poor relocating, so moving quickly from one object to another.
Over sensitive to light
Poor visual perception
Over sensitive to noise – distinguishing sounds
Over and under sensitive to touch – can result in dislike of being touched or not liking tight clothing. Also over/under sensitive to smell, taste, temperature and pain.
Lack of spatial awareness
No sense of time, distance, speed, weight etc
No sense of direction – forget map reading
Accuracy problems – difficulty copying sounds, writing, movement and proofreading
Difficulty in following instructions – especially more than one at a time
Difficulty concentrating – may be easily distracted
Daydream and wander about aimlessly
Slow to finish a task
May only do one thing at once properly though may try to do many things at once
Slow in adapting to new situations – may avoid altogether
Easily frustrated, wanting instant gratification
Opt out of things that are too difficult
Erratic – having good days and bad
May have difficulty sleeping
Get stressed, depressed or anxious easily
Prone to low self esteem, emotional outbursts, phobias, fears, obsessions, compulsions and addictive behaviour.
Now that is an extremely long list! Don’t get me wrong though, people who have dyspraxia won’t have all of these symptoms. Even the worst case won’t have all of these. The things in the list aren’t even unique to dyspraxia. The thing with people with dyspraxia they will have more than their fair share!
Day to day I manage pretty well, I have the usual things of walking into doorways, tables and chairs etc. Spilling things and not being able to spell. One of the worst traits for me is my memory. It’s shocking. I seriously can’t tell you how bad it is! Thankfully people like my Mum and my Supervisor and work colleagues are great and they know what works best for me. I get step by step instructions, usually written down and in bullet format. I know most of us struggle with remembering things but trust me this is worse! My friends, family and husband will tell you how frustrating it is for them. I have been known to completely forget that I have read a book or watched a film, it’s like I am watching or reading for the first time! It usually kicks in at some point that I have watched or read it before but I tend to argue the toss for a while ha ha! It is really frustrating though and I end up feeling incredibly stupid and self conscious because at 32 years old I can’t remember promising something to someone or that I visited somewhere or read something before. That’s not to say I can’t remember anything, I mean I am not like the character out of 50 first dates ha ha!!! I have ways and means of making sure I remember things, alarms on my phone, calendars on my phone in my kitchen and a diary. In some ways my brain in quite logical and works in a specific order to do or remember something. For example going food shopping! I could never just write down a bunch of food items and randomly go shopping, I have to follow a pattern on my sheet that matches around the shop, that way nothing gets forgotten about.
I have so many bruises and cuts on me over the years it’s untrue! I have had that many accidents and broken that many kitchen items my husband has banned any expensive kitchen items in our house. Our wine glasses are cheap ones as I break them, he bought 52 pint glasses off eBay around 4 years ago and we have 4 left. All my fault. I’ve broken countless dishes and plates. I have also burnt myself several times and more recently probably scarred myself I was that daft! I mis-judged the distance of my arm to the pan and well I burnt my arm. I spill things all the time too. I have ruined my food numerous times with blackcurrant juice usually because of my clumsiness. I never leave drinks somewhere where I think I could knock it over or break or spill it. My drink at meal times sits further away from my food. I sometimes move other peoples drinks if I think I may knock it over too. All down to lack of spatial awareness. I can’t judge distances. I also can’t judge speed or the weight of things. Not a clue.
Ok so going back to the list. I will go through and explain as briefly as possible.
Self care, I do ok with this. I have had practise with my hair and make up so I do ok other than attempting a new hair style that can be tricky and will probably end up being getting annoyed, throwing my hairbrush across the room and giving up. I can’t get the co-ordination or the grip to be able to do fancy styles etc.
Writing. Forget it in all aspects! It’s tiring on my muscles in my hand and wrist joints, I can’t grip the pen, I can’t always follow the line. If there is no line I probably won’t write in a straight line. My writing is just everywhere and majority of the time it’s illegible. It usually takes concentration to write so people can read my writing and generally it hurts my arm and my writing can look quite different and very scruffy in just one sentence. Typing I prefer but spelling and grammar is not something I am good at which I know annoys my Mum and one friend in particular! I do read things back but I might not see the mistake until I have read it 4/5 times even more. So I apologise in advance for all my blogs where I haven’t spelt anything properly ha ha.
Driving. It took me a while to pass. I was determined to do it for the freedom of going where I want. The trouble with driving is there is so much to do and concentrate on I actually find it very exhausting. Driving to work is my limit and that takes me 1 hour. I can’t drive longer than that it’s too much for me. I also can’t drive anywhere I don’t know, even with a sat nav. I find it so stressful that I just panic. There is far too much going on for my brain to process all the information as quickly as it needs too. My brain works differently and process information a lot differently and sometimes a lot slower. riving is a hard task to master for people like me to be honest. From what I have come across anyway.
Cooking. It’s dangerous! I can do it but if I am following a recipe I have to read it through several times first. I have been known to forget a step on some ingredients several times before now ha ha! It’s dangerous because of the lack of spatial awareness around me and I end up burning myself or slicing my finger with a knife. That said I am actually a really good baker! Ask anyone that has tasted one of my cakes!!!
Education. There is a lot I could say about this but I am limited for reasons which I cannot discuss. I have a Distinction in Applied Science and a 2nd Class Hons in Clinical Physiology. It took me many years attending university part time to get these. It was during my time at university that I discovered I had dyslexia and dyspraxia. On finding out it was the biggest relief ever I can tell you because it meant I wasn’t stupid and that there was hope for me to gain my degree. After finding out I saught help from others who understood what I was going through and I adapted and changed my way of studying to help me remember and work through my degree. Loosing my son aside, this was actually one of the hardest and most challenging things I have ever done. Unless you suffer with dyslexia and dyspraxia there is just no way you could understand how hard I worked for this. I literally doubled the effort and time I put in to this degree and I proud to say I completed this degree on my own. Again my children aside this is one of my proudest achievements in my life.
Time management and planning. I set out plans etc for pretty much everything, what we will eat the following week, what we are doing on a weekend or days off, what I will wear for something. I love planning events and things to do. One of my downfalls with things like this is never actually getting around to doing things. I know it sounds like laziness or whatever but it’s not that. It’s hard to explain. I have seen a few people who suffer with dyspraxia talk about this. It’s not laziness like I said, maybe it’s a time management thing I’m not sure? I know sometimes I have to work backwards to work out what time I may need to start getting ready to be somewhere and I try really hard to be on time for things. I’m not really making myself very clear here to be honest and I’m not sure how else to explain. All I know is I am not on my own and other dyspraxics will get this!! Hopefully ha ha!
Listening. Interesting one. If someone like me is in a larger group or in an area where there are many conversations going on at once, it is very difficult to focus on the conversation you are meant to be concentrating on. I have also been told by my husband that I can be a little tactless and interrupt people. My tone of pitch can also be way off and sometimes I might be listening to someone but not actually understanding what is going on. I might ask people to repeat themselves if I am with people I know. Otherwise I don’t bother as I just feel like I look stupid. I get really worried as you can tell for people mistaking me for being stupid and clumsy, I try not to let it bother me most of the time as day to day I do really well and I have adapted things in my own way to manage things better so you wouldn’t really be able to tell. Some days though, the bad days, are hard and those are the days were I struggle to ‘hide it’ so that people don’t misjudge me for being stupid. If I was stupid I wouldn’t be able to achieve and do the things that I do do or have done in my life though?! (Not sure if this makes sense?!)
Articulation. Something I probably don’t have much of to be honest!
Speech. Oh gosh I am always repeating myself, my husband goes mad because I repeat myself several times in the same paragraph. I probably do it in my blogs too to be honest but I try not too. I have previously mentioned the whole tone of pitch above (see what I did I didn’t quite repeat myself ha ha!!!). I don’t know why I do it, I think sometimes it’s to re-iterate to myself what I have said, commit it to memory maybe? If I am telling someone a story I can often get jumbled in what I am saying and flit back and forth in what I am saying and may be even miss bits out. If I am on a ‘bad day’ here my dyspraxia is at it’s worst I can develop a pause, stutter or whatever you call it. It’s annoyingly frustrating, embarrassing and I hate it. The worst thing people can do though is say ‘spit your words out’, it just makes it worse and quote often I will give up as the other person saying this has clearly got frustrated waiting for my extremely busy and overworked brain to function properly and say the words I want to say. This goes back to the beginning of the blog where I explained what it is. With dspraxia the brain worked differently and ultimately is in overdrive all the time working ten times harder to do a simple task like gripping a pain, talking or listening or driving
This leads me into fatigue. With all this sensory processing over load it’s no flipping wonder!!!!
Balance. Nope. Can’t balance myself or a few drinks on a tray etc. One drink at once and no tight ropes ha ha ha!!!
Flat feet and low muscle tone in legs – therefore unable to stand for long periods of time. Yes I have both of these. I have orthotics to correct my feet and often feel like I look lazy because my legs are sore and aching and I need to sit down. I’m not actually sure why this is, I just know I have it and I wish I didn’t.
Hand eye co-ordination. Something I don’t have ha ha! I have never been able to catch a ball and I think this is once of the many reasons I probably didn’t get picked first in sports at school. In fact try last!!!! I frequently walk into doors and tables and drop things because of lack of co-ordination. I’m often described as being clumsy. I think this should have been my middle name to be honest!!!
Two handed tasks. Generally I can manage with maybe some practise for some things but craft things and musical instruments you can forget it!!!
Inadequate grip. I really struggle to grip things properly most days to be honest. I have trouble with pens and often have several different shaped pens when at work to help me, I can struggle with tools – hammer and nail -, laces and buttons oh my god I hate buttons! I just can’t do them! I would never intentionally buy anything with buttons on as I just can’t do them! They really frustrate me!
Eye movement. So when I am reading I will often loose my place when I am reading. I end up reading that section of the book several times! It can be a little annoying and I end up having to out the book down and walk away from it. I do however find it a little easier now I have a kindle that my husband bought for me as I can increase the font size so there are less words on the page.
Over sensitive to noise. This one is frustrating. It actually upsets me although I try very hard not to show it. If I am in a room with lots of conversations, music and maybe other noises such as toys and mobile phones etc. It rally affects me. I am not sure I have ever really told anyone to be honest. It all gets too much and my brain is trying to listen to everything all at once and distinguish each one which it can’t do. I end up feeling like I need to leave the room to get away from all the noise. It’s a huge over stimulation for me and I can’t deal with too many noises at once.
Over sensitive to touch. I am a person that likes to hug and make hand gestures and basically use physical contact if appropriate when speaking. If I am having a day where I am having a ‘flare-up’, I actually can’t stand to be touched. This may surprise people who know me but it’s true. It’s like if someone touches me it will send me over the edge. Like my brain and body can’t cope with any more information to receive. I have often had to ask my husband to stop trying to hug me because I don’t want a hug. I think he gets a bit offended or upset sometimes though. It’s not often I turn down a hug from anyone but sometimes it’s too much. I also can’t be doing with clothes being too tight. Especially around my neck.
Accuracy problems. I have a lot of trouble copying things. It’s so annoying. I have to double and triple check what I am copying before actually copying it. It doesn’t matter if it’s something I am reading or listening too.
I can follow instructions ok, as long as I only get 1/2 at a time. If you give me a big list of stuff to do there is no way I am going to remember. Tell me one thing at once!!!!!
Concentrating. I can concentrate on things, I mean I drive a lot! It’s just sometimes I have to work a lot harder to concentrate on that one thing that’s all.
Slow at adapting to new situations. This is purely because (well for me anyway) I function better by routine. The familiarity of things enable me to manage everyday things better. If someone was to move where I keep my car keys and start putting them somewhere else, it would take me a while before I learnt where they were. So I am not a fan of change! It can stress me out and even result in accidents depending on what the change is. If I knew there was a situation that I would find too difficult to cope with I would avoid as much as I could. I just couldn’t go through with it as I know how much stress could be involved.
I have really struggled with this blog as it is so hard to explain. It’s ended up quite a long one so if you are still reading then thank you.
I manage extremely well I think for someone with dyspraxia. I have found ways of coping with things and some techniques I have mastered without realising until a specialist pointed it out to me. Like making a cup of tea, a simple task yet I manage usually without burning myself. Purely because I have adapted a way to do it so that I won’t spill anything or burn myself.
It’s not a measure of intelligence either. Just because a simple task may involve more effort for me to manage or that I have memory trouble or struggle with noise etc it does not mean I am not intelligent. I work in a hospital environment doing diagnostic tests on people and I have done for 14 years. I also managed to get a degree and a BTEC as well as standard A-Levels and GCSE’s so I’m not thick or stupid. My problem is that my brain works differently and is often working at an extra 10 million miles an hour than your average person.
It is frustrating for people around me, I can sometimes see it in their face or hear it in their voices. She’s broken something again or forgotten something again etc. Do you know what though? It’s ten times more frustrating for me. It’s also embarrassing and upsetting for me too. The best thing though is patience, on both parts. I need to be patient with myself and others with me. It might take me longer to do something or say something etc but be patient and I will get there.
I realise some people may have questions about this and want to know more. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. Just comment on my blog below and I will reply as soon as I can.
If anyone thinks they may have dyspraxia or know someone with it I will link some pages in my blog too.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Emma
Dyspraxic Domesticated Mummy
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjv0fbUx4HVAhXFZVAKHSm7CGgQFggvMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdyspraxiafoundation.org.uk%2F&usg=AFQjCNGACTYVVmHB4eWnOUjDoxmbhm3Fcg
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjv0fbUx4HVAhXFZVAKHSm7CGgQFghKMAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dyspraxiauk.com%2Fdyspraxiafoundation.php&usg=AFQjCNF4pZWBJY-644M0G2xNZwb9reBlpg
https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjpzvn5x4HVAhWvFtMKHVMpBl8YABABGgJ3Yg&ei=DvFkWc-GJcnQwQLe27tA&ohost=www.google.co.uk&cid=CAASEuRo3kQHFnjyMcT6aMZxM8Z48Q&sig=AOD64_2s8Xnl_bDIaVnj21MThhneJJYHrQ&q=&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwjPxfT5x4HVAhVJaFAKHd7tDggQ0QwIJg&adurl=
 
 

Introducing Me! 

Hi.
So as this is my first blog I figured I would introduce myself properly! I am in my 30’s and live with my husband and our youngest son Alfie. Together in total we have 3 boys. My Step Son (William) is currently 12 years old and at high school. He comes to stay with us every other weekend and he loves being a big brother. I love being a Step Mum and we are lucky enough to have a great relationship.
I had my first son called Ethan in June 2014. He was born at 21 weeks and sadly passed away at aged 28 mins due to hypoplastic left heart syndrome, severe aortic coarction, severe aortic stenosis and a huge atrial septic defect. It’s a difficult journey losing a child that was so very much wanted and loved but his memory lives on in our house and he is still very much loved& a part of our lives and our thoughts. I will discuss more about the grief of losing a baby in a further blog as this one could take a while!
I got pregnant 6 months after the loss of my first born, to say the pregnancy was difficult is an understatement. Thankfully Alfie arrived safely in October 2015 and he’s my absolute world and brings so much joy to our lives. We are very lucky to have him.
After having Alfie I decided to work part time. I am very lucky and really enjoy the time that Alfie and I get to spend together. I just love watching him grow and explore the world around him. It’s amazing seeing his little face get so excited by new things around him. It hasn’t always been easy with Alfie though, the first few months were really hard, he had reflux and I suffered with anxiety. I found losing Ethan hard all over again now that I actually had a baby in my arms to look after, I knew exactly what I was missing out on.
Alfie is also dairy, soya and egg free and this is a mine field living with this! There are lots of struggles and will be sharing our path of this along the way.
I will talk about Alfie and the anxiety and intolerances in a further blog.
I started working for the NHS in Cardiology in June 2004 at Pennine Acute Hospital where I worked for the next 9 years. I gained myself a distinction in applied science and a second class hons in Clinical Physiology, specialising in Respiratory. Whilst studying my degree I found out that I had dyslexia and dyspraxia. It was a relief to hear that my struggle had a name and that there was help and tips out there to help me reach my end goal of my degree!!! Not everyone understands or has heard about dyspraxia, people who have heard often think or describe it as just being clumsy but it’s so much more than that. I will explain more about this and what it’s like living with it for me every day.
I currently work in Cardiology at Salford Royal which I really enjoy and I have worked here since October 2013.
Well hopefully I haven’t rambled on too much!
I look forward to writing and sharing things with you and about me in general!
Goodbye for now, chat soon. Much love ❤️
Emma
#dyspraxicdomesticatedmummy